QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
GINA MAIER VINCENT
Q: What does it mean to be Exquisitely Aligned?
A: I believe we are born exquisite. (YOU included.) We don’t need to “look like, think like, sound like, or want the same things as anybody else.” We KNOW we’re UNIQUE with (much) MORE to offer. Mundane thinking & mediocre results, are NOT for us. I believe we are here to shake things up (in a good way). Sure, we’ve been asked to “fit in” and if we do we give up pieces of ourselves.
When you reconnect & reclaim those pieces, you FEEL complete & ARE in flow with everything around you. You’re FREE to FINALLY be who you are authentically – “Exquisitely Aligned.”
This applies to ALL aspects of our life… emotional, intellectual, mental health, parenting style, friendships, our way of showing up in the world, our ability to express ourselves outwardly, & our spirituality.
In one sentence – When you express your truest self outwardly… you become EXACTLY what the world is missing. That’s what Exquisitely Aligned is all about.
Q: What does it mean to live your finest life?
A: First let me say, I believe there’s a misbelief here. When it comes to living your finest life, people think it’s about growing, changing, or perfecting yourself to society’s standards. Society convinces us, that in order to feel fulfilled in our relationships, career, & self, we need to find the answers outside of ourselves. That leads us to believe we’re NOT enough & we’re NOT worthy of “MORE.”
When it comes to living your finest life… it’s about becoming YOUR TRUEST SELF. And valuing who you are and the unique gifts you have to offer the world. In order to do that, you need to go deep within yourself, reclaim your missing pieces, and realize your truths. Because true transformation is an inside job.
Q: What led you to discover and launch Exquisitely Aligned?
A: I’ve lived a FULL of twists & turns. Each one was an invitation for me to step up & take a BOLD, BRAVE, & UNCOMPROMISING stand for my future and that of my family. Sometimes, I felt alone, unsupported & out of my depth. Nonetheless, I ALWAYS answered a wholehearted “YES!”
Q: Can you give one example of an invitation from life where you had to take a BOLD, BRAVE, & UNCOMPROMISING stand?
A: In 2009, my husband, Mark, almost died, because of the hospital’s rigid adherence to their rules. Intuitively, I KNEW something was off. (You can imagine, how thrilled his doctors were with my (non-medical) opinions.) And at that point, I faced a CHOICE. To watch him slowly DIE because of the system’s outdated approach. OR to step up & take a BOLD, BRAVE, & UNCOMPROMISING stand for not only his physical health, but for the future, we still had left to live, as a family…
It took 8 1/2 grueling MONTHS of advocating daily on his behalf, but FINALLY, he received the life-saving organs he needed…
…and we were blessed to go on to CREATE the life & family we had ENVISIONED
together. And now, this is the work I do with other women… because I NEVER want her to feel alone, unsupported, or out of her depth, as I once did. I am here to help my clients take a stand for their AMAZING future, the one calling them in the wee hours of the night.
Q: What are your views on the pressure that society places on us to conform or “fit in”?
A: We live in a world begging for us to conform. Asking us to fit neatly into a box. And to do that we must give up parts of ourselves. This promotes mundane thinking & mediocre results. TRYING to “fit in”, keep the peace, even HOLD ourselves back, to allow others to SHINE (whether in our relationships, our career, or our health). We silence parts of ourselves and sacrifice our dreams. We settle for less than we desire and deserve (even though we know, we’re meant for MORE).
If we hide our gifts so someone else can shine, then only they shine. When really, together, you make the world brighter!
I think we’ve all done it… me included. Think of a child who wants to win the attention of her parents and siblings. Then, as a teen, she wants to win the approval of her High School peers. She grows older and looks to win the acknowledgment of her boss, spouse, or in-laws. It happens in a marriage where one person is trying to rise up in their career. So the other person steps back, out of the limelight.
Q: What do you suggest we do when society pressures us to be something we are not?
A: I have a 3 step strategy to help us remain (or reclaim) our Exquisiteness. Let’s start with our truths, they reside so deeply within you that they are invisible to others. I call them Soul-Level Truths. We’ve been taught to discard our truths and defer to the perspectives that others impose on us. Every time we do this, we become more misaligned with the life we know we’re meant to live. When you powerfully identify and honor your Soul-Level Truths, your new life becomes inevitable.
Next, you have unique desires they cause your heart to beat faster. I call them Heart-felt Desires. We live in a world that promotes short-term indulgences as the answer to joy. Every time we accept that invitation to indulge, we move further from fulfilling the desires that make us feel alive. When we fully embrace and partner with our Heart-felt Desires a fulfilling, meaningful life is the natural result.
And last, there are unique Gifts and Talents that you were divinely chosen to express. We’ve been asked to dismiss our gifts in order to keep the peace or make others happy. The longer our gifts and talents remain dormant and unused, the harder it is to find our purpose. When you discover, master, and refine your Innate Gifts you are always on purpose and your unique purpose becomes more obvious to you with every step.
Q: I’ve heard you say, self-help is counterproductive. It doesn’t work and it can’t work. Can you tell us WHY?
A: I’m a visual person. I see it as an iceberg. Let’s start with the 10% that is visible. I call that collecting self-help, like going on a scavenger hunt and ending up with a dozen useless items. The initial moment is full of promise, but at the end of the day, the items are of little use to you. When people collect, they convince themselves into thinking they consumed.
The next, 80%, is where we start to implement the self-improvement techniques we learned. We start connecting, whether through yoga, meditation, working with a life coach, going on a retreat, or completing a course. Here, we develop mastery of these techniques and modalities and finally begin seeing improvement. All finished, right? Not quite…
The last 10%, is where the real work happens — a complete and total transformation. You begin to live from your Soul-level Truths, your Heart-felt Desires, and your Innate Gifts and Talents. You’ve stepped into your purpose and are exquisitely aligned with your highest self.
This is the path least traveled, and it won’t be easy — that’s why most give up.
Q: What do you suggest to someone who is on their self-help journey?
A: I think when we invest in self-help, we are really looking for transformation. So, if we truly want to experience transformation. or transcend the way we are currently living, the only way I know how to do that… is to travel deep into our truths. We must discover, live, experience, and feel into what we’ve learned. Then we need to see if it fits and enhances our truths, desires, and gifts. And if it doesn’t, discard it.
When you feel like something is missing from your life, you tend to go looking for answers outside of yourself. But really, what’s missing is… YOU.
Q: I’ve heard you say, we get invitations in life. Gina, can you explain what you mean?
A: Yes. I believe there are 2 types, each one extends or offers us an opportunity. First, there’s “Frightened & (then) Enlightened”. It’s an unexpected situation – like having the rug pulled out from under you. It happens in our health, our career or finances, or our love relationship. These unexpected situations are invitations to find the blessings in the uncomfortable. It’s in these times we are transformed.
And second is “Intrigue & Intimidation” (equally & immediately). This one is a little different. It’s a shiny invitation. It may frighten us but for less time and less dramatically. There’s beauty here. When you feel intimidated & intrigued by something, pay attention. There are powerful possibilities ahead.
In life, there are moments that shock us. They drop us to our knees. Open our eyes. We realize there’s MORE to us and MORE waiting for us. That’s the life I want for you.
Q: Gina, can you give us an example of “Frightened & Enlightened” invitations vs. “Intimidated & Intrigued” invitations?
A: “Frightened & Enlightened”. It could be… you find yourself in a marriage that isn’t working out the way either of you had intended & deciding to dissolve it. Or you being laid off, even though you gave them all your years of hard work. Both are unexpected. But in time, we are given the opportunity to find the silver lining, to become enlightened and transformed by hardship.
“Intimidated & Intrigued” … a good example would be my podcast. For years, I was told I should have a podcast & YouTube channel. I wasn’t in a place, literally & figuratively, where I felt called to do it. Fast forward, I’m in my new home here in sunny California. One day while I sat in prayer & meditation, I KNEW I was being called to step out of my comfort zone. But couldn’t figure out how. A few weeks later, a beautiful friend who’s also an entrepreneur said, “You should have a podcast.” And there it was. I had goosebumps. It was at that moment I realized; this was my invitation. Today I’m loving every minute of it. The possibilities & opportunities are endless & are ever unfolding.
Each invitation, whether “Frightening & (then) Enlightening” or “Intimidating & Intriguing” are rich with rewards. They allow us to practice & play using our gifts in a new more exciting way. We appreciate our gifts, share them with others, and allow others to appreciate them as well. It truly is a powerful and beautiful exchange. We become (even) MORE Exquisitely Aligned.
Q: I understand you are passionate about beauty. Can you tell us why?
A: I like nature. It’s a great example for each of us. You see nothing in nature is perfect or symmetrical. And, nature is beautiful. It’s exquisite.
There’s an energetic exchange between us and nature. As the admirer of its imperfect beauty, we are fueled or energized. Studies show spending time in nature is healthy. It reduces stress. And spending time by the ocean has been proven to reset the natural rhythm of the heart in heart patients. There’s an energetic exchange. We are asked or invited to spend time surrounded by beauty in nature, our home, our office when we look in the mirror, you name it. Beauty is not superficial. Beauty is super fuel.
Q: What are some of the challenges, that the women you work, with experience?
A: Typically, they are one of three situations. First, let’s call her Nora. Nora played nice; the dream daughter, straight-A student, ideal employee, perfect wife & won mother of the year. She’s silenced and sacrificed her desires to help others. She now feels a disconnect with who is staring back at her in the mirror.
Next, let’s call her Rachel. She’s the rebel. She’s gone through life knowing she’s unique and fighting conformity. She’s now frustrated and exhausted. And last, we’ll call her Fran. She went back and forth between nice and rebel. She’s now feeling confused.
Typically they’ve been through something, could be one of those invitations we spoke of. And now, they are ready to be BOLD & COURAGEOUS and live life on their own terms. Or they know they’re being called to shake things up to make the world a better place and need help figuring things out. Or they feel it in their heart of hearts, that they’re SO close to what they want, but sense there’s something missing or blocking them.
Q: Why does the topic “reinventing yourself” get under your skin?
A: I get a pit in my stomach when I hear a woman talk about reinventing themself. Why should we mess with perfection?! She was born EXQUISITE. Sure, life happens and she may have silenced or sacrificed parts of herself as we talked about earlier. There is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to reinvent. She simply needs to REALIGN. It’s a much less time-consuming, easier, and (even) more enjoyable journey. And I guess I should say, I’m on a mission to let women, the world over, know that.
Q: Where does your confidence come from?
A: I think there’s a difference in confidence & self-trust. What may look to you as confidence; for me, is really self-trust. I would explain it as a deep inner knowing. One where you know with every cell of your body.
You see… I was born feisty. I remember in my early thirties as a new mom, my mother said, “I knew you would find a way to work that out. Because you NEVER let anything stop you.” That was a pivotal moment. Sure, I knew that about myself… but when you hear someone else voice it aloud… you really begin to own it.
Q: I know you call yourself a Transformation Expert. Are you a coach? And, how do you work with people?
A: I’m not a coach – I don’t cheer you on from the sidelines. Instead, I walk ahead & shine a light, so you can meet me at YOUR ultimate destination. As a Transformation Expert, I’m a mentor. I take you on a journey deep to your soul. You already know I don’t fit into a box. Here are some other words that describe my work; dream activator, soul whisperer, truth teller & finisher-completer par excellence. I help you recognize your inner beauty by reclaiming the pieces, you sacrificed or hid, to help others. There is WISDOM in connecting with who we were born to be. When you do, it’s only natural to do the AMAZING things ONLY YOU CAN. You SHINE brilliantly & unapologetically for all to see. And light the way for others! That’s the transformation. And, I’m honored to be a part of their journey.
My favorite way to work with people is one-on-one. I create a safe space & give you the PERSONAL attention you need for this journey DEEP into your soul. I also do retreats.
Q: You talk about each of us being exquisite. What makes you exquisite?
A: I’m a NEW YORKER by birth. I move fast. And I DON’T sugarcoat things. I speed up the journey SO YOU don’t waste ANY MORE of your valuable time trying to figure it ALL out, ALONE. I give a VOICE to your soul & ILLUMINATE the things you can NOT see – those missing pieces you’re searching for & longing for.
Q: What is your best advice for living your finest life?
A: I have 5 Tips live your finest life. Here’s what nobody’s talking about. When it comes to living you finest life it’s about becoming your truest self. And here are my 5 tips:
- STOP chasing your dreams. They’re not running from you. They’re waiting for you to BE YOU. The real you, who is whole & complete – not the one who needs a dream to feel complete.
- Don’t play the one-size-fits-all game. When you silence parts of yourself & sacrifice your dreams to “fit-in” or make others happy, you settle for less than you desire & deserve.
- KNOW you’re worthy. Your finest life is what’s calling to you in the wee hours of the night. There’s more to you. And more waiting for you.
- Pay attention when something “Intimidates & Intrigues” you. If it feels right. Say a wholehearted, “Yes!” When you do, you’re opening yourself to powerful & ever-unfolding possibilities.
- Make it your mission to remain in (or reclaim) your Exquisiteness. Remember: It is a privilege and your power to be Exquisite.
Q: Is there any other advice you have for us?
A: Yes. NOW is the time! You don’t have to WAIT until you have an Instagram-ready life (perfect love life, ideal body & bank account) to take a stand for your AMAZING future.