By Gina Maier Vincent
Stop right there.
Before you RSVP “yes” to that next invitation, before you agree to another coffee date, before you commit to one more obligation—pause and ask yourself a question that could change everything:
Are the people in my life fueling me… or draining me?
If your first instinct is to brush off this question with “Of course they’re fueling me!” then you definitely need to keep reading. Because high-achievers are notorious for one thing: giving their precious energy to anyone who asks while convincing themselves it’s all perfectly fine.
Here’s the brutal truth: Your packed calendar, thinning patience, and that constant feeling of running on empty? They’re not signs of a successful life. They’re warning signals that you’re hemorrhaging your most valuable resource—your energy—to people and situations that don’t deserve it.
“Remember, you don’t need to give your energy to anything that is not aligned for you.” — from my book, Exquisitely Aligned: A Blueprint to Your Magnificent Future
The Energy Drain Epidemic
Let’s get real about what’s happening in your life right now.
Your calendar is full, but somehow you feel empty. You’re surrounded by people, yet you feel increasingly isolated. You show up for everyone else, but who’s really showing up for you?
This isn’t about being ungrateful or antisocial. It’s about recognizing a pattern that’s silently sabotaging your wellbeing: the unconscious distribution of your energy to relationships that take far more than they give.
Most high-achievers fall into this trap because they’ve been conditioned to believe that being “busy” and “needed” equals being valuable. They collect relationships like trophies, saying yes to every invitation, showing up for every crisis, being everyone’s reliable go-to person.
But here’s what they don’t tell you about being everyone’s first choice: it often means you become your own last priority.
Energy: Your Invisible Currency
Think of energy as your invisible currency—more valuable than time, more precious than money, more finite than you realize.
Unlike other resources, energy can’t be easily replenished once it’s spent. You can make more money. You can occasionally create more time. But energy? Once it’s poured into relationships that don’t reciprocate, into situations that don’t align with your values, into people who see you as a resource rather than a person—it’s gone.
And most of us are spending this currency with shocking carelessness.
We give it to:
- People who only call when they need something
- Relationships that require constant emotional labor with no return
- Social obligations that feel more like endurance tests than enjoyable experiences
- Friends who monopolize conversations but never ask how you’re doing
- Family members who drain your energy with drama but offer no support
Meanwhile, we tell ourselves we’re being “good friends,” “supportive family members,” or “team players.” We’re not. We’re being energy banks with no withdrawal limits.
The RISE Scale: Your Energy Protection System
This is where the RISE Scale becomes a lifeline—one of the most powerful tools for protecting your energy and creating healthy boundaries in relationships.
RISE stands for Reciprocity, Integrity, Sincerity, and Empathy. These four elements form the foundation of any relationship worth your energy investment.
Here’s how to use this game-changing assessment:
Reciprocity: Do they give as much energy as they take?
This isn’t about keeping score in a petty way. It’s about recognizing whether energy flows both ways in your relationships or consistently flows in one direction—away from you.
Ask yourself:
- When I share good news, do they genuinely celebrate with me?
- When I need support, are they available the way I am for them?
- Do our conversations feel balanced, or am I always listening/giving advice?
- Do they remember what’s important to me and follow up?
Relationships without reciprocity aren’t relationships—they’re energy extraction systems.
Integrity: Do you trust them, truly?
Trust isn’t just about big betrayals. It’s about consistency, reliability, and feeling safe to be vulnerable.
Consider:
- Do they do what they say they’ll do?
- Can you be yourself around them without fear of judgment or gossip?
- Do they handle your confidences with respect?
- Is their behavior consistent, or do you find yourself walking on eggshells?
Without integrity, relationships become energy-intensive because you’re constantly managing uncertainty instead of relaxing into genuine connection.
Sincerity: Do you feel heartfelt support from them in at least one area of your life?
Sincerity goes beyond surface-level niceness. It’s about authentic care and genuine investment in your wellbeing.
Reflect on:
- Do they truly want to see you succeed, or do you sense competition?
- When you’re struggling, do they offer real support or just platitudes?
- Do they celebrate your growth even when it changes your dynamic?
- Can you share your dreams without fear of dismissal?
Relationships without sincerity keep you performing rather than being authentic.
Empathy: Do you feel seen, heard, and valued?
Empathy is the ability to understand and connect with your experience, even when it differs from theirs.
Ask yourself:
- Do they make an effort to understand your perspective?
- Do they validate your feelings instead of immediately trying to fix them?
- Do you feel emotionally safe in moments of vulnerability?
- Do they remember what matters to you and honor it?
Without empathy, relationships require constant explanation and emotional labor.
Scoring Your Relationships: The Reality Check
Here’s how to apply the RISE Scale practically:
List the key people in your life—those you spend significant time with or who impact your energy substantially.
Score each person from 1 (not at all) to 5 (absolutely) on each RISE element.
Add up their total score (maximum 20 points).
Look at the results without judgment—just with curiosity and compassion.
This exercise often reveals shocking patterns:
- Some long-term relationships score surprisingly low
- The people you spend the most time with aren’t necessarily those who score highest
- Certain individuals consistently take but rarely give
- A few key relationships shine as genuine sources of mutual support
The goal isn’t to become ruthless or cut everyone off. It’s to make conscious choices about how you invest your most precious resource.
From Insight to Action: Reclaiming Your Energy
Once you’ve scored your relationships, what do you actually do with this information?
For relationships scoring 15-20: Invest More These are your energy-positive relationships. Consider deepening these connections through more quality time, greater vulnerability, and active support of their goals.
For relationships scoring 10-14: Renegotiate These relationships have potential but need adjustment. Have direct conversations about your needs, set clearer boundaries, or shift the dynamic through your own changed behavior.
For relationships scoring 5-9: Reposition These connections may need to move from your inner circle to a more peripheral role. Reduce frequency of contact, limit certain topics, or shift from one-on-one to group interactions.
For relationships scoring below 5: Release Some relationships have simply run their course or are too consistently draining to maintain. Releasing these connections—with compassion rather than drama—creates space for aligned relationships to enter your life.
A Transformation Story: From Depletion to Deep Connection
One of my clients, a brilliant high-achiever, came to me after leaving a long, emotionally draining marriage. She thought the hardest part was over—until she applied the RISE Scale to her friendships.
The results were eye-opening.
Several friendships she’d maintained for years scored devastatingly low. These “friends” consistently relied on her support, time, and energy while offering little genuine interest in her life, dreams, or wellbeing in return.
With newfound clarity and self-compassion, she began stepping away from these depleting connections. She stopped saying yes to every invitation, became unavailable for one-sided emotional dumping sessions, and redirected her energy toward the few relationships that did score highly.
What happened next was remarkable.
Within weeks, new and aligned friendships began flowing into her life. People who listened as much as they talked. Who genuinely supported her dreams without jealousy. Who celebrated her wins and showed up during challenges.
She transformed from feeling constantly exhausted and unseen to energized and deeply connected—all because she freed up her energy from misaligned relationships and created space for authentic ones to emerge.
This is the power of conscious energy management. This is the magic of RISE.
Your Energy Protection Plan
Ready to stop being everyone else’s energy bank and start being your own energy guardian? Here’s your action plan:
Week 1: Assessment
Apply the RISE Scale to every significant relationship in your life. Be honest, be thorough, and resist the urge to make excuses for consistently low-scoring connections.
Week 2: Strategy
Create specific action plans for each category of relationships. What boundaries need to be set? Which connections deserve more investment? Where do you need to have difficult conversations?
Week 3: Implementation
Begin making the changes. Start small if needed, but start. Send fewer texts to energy drains. Invest more time in energy gains. Practice saying no to requests that don’t align with your wellbeing.
Week 4: Adjustment
Notice what shifts as you protect your energy more carefully. Adjust your approach based on what you learn about both yourself and your relationships.
The Ripple Effect of Energy Protection
When you begin protecting your energy through conscious relationship choices, the effects ripple through every area of your life:
- You have more energy for your goals, dreams, and personal growth
- Your mood stabilizes because you’re not constantly drained by toxic dynamics
- You attract higher-quality relationships because you’ve raised your standards
- Your existing positive relationships deepen because you have more to give
Most importantly, you reclaim agency over your own life. You stop being a victim of other people’s needs and start being the conscious curator of your own experience.
Your Invitation to Energy Sovereignty
I help successful, driven achievers like you audit, align, and amplify every area of their lives—starting with their relationships.
If you’re ready to clear the energetic clutter, call in deeper support, and step into the version of yourself that no longer tolerates misaligned energy, I invite you to experience a VIP Day.
During this transformative experience, we’ll apply the RISE Scale to your entire relationship ecosystem, create strategic boundaries that protect your energy, and design a support system that actually supports you.
We’ll identify the patterns that led to energy drainage, develop scripts for difficult conversations, and create a personalized plan for attracting relationships that fuel rather than deplete you.
By the end of our day together, you’ll have complete clarity about where your energy is going and a concrete strategy for redirecting it toward what—and who—truly matters.
This isn’t about becoming selfish or cutting everyone off. It’s about becoming conscious, intentional, and protective of your most precious resource so you can show up as your best self for the people and purposes that truly deserve your energy.
Your energy is precious—let’s make sure it’s protected. It’s your birthright. I’m just reminding you.
Ready to go deeper? My complete framework is outlined in The High Achievers Paradox.
Ready to reclaim your energy and create relationships that truly fuel you? Call me at 949-409-5330 or visit ExquisitelyAligned.com to schedule your VIP Day experience. Your energy is precious—let’s make sure it’s protected.
Gina Maier Vincent is a Visionary Thought Leader, Inspirational Speaker, and Empowerment Entrepreneur. She’s the creator of Exquisitely Aligned, a proven 3-step system that helps high achievers align their time, money, and energy with their desires and true purpose. Vincent hosts the Exquisitely Aligned Podcast, pens a monthly empowerment column for Newport Beach Living Magazine, and is the author of “Exquisitely Aligned: A Pocket Guide to Your Magnificent Future.” Based in Southern California, she guides people globally on how to live exquisitely aligned lives.